"You have 6 months to find a new trainer and correct her behaviors or the dog is gone." - Husband Prioritizes Problematic Doggo Over Pregnant Wife, AITA?

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Feb 20, 2023 5:00 PM EST

Well, you have to read the whole thing to fully understand the story, but this one is a doozy. This Redditor was gifted a problematic dog by his Mother-In-Law when it was a puppy, and the dog grew up with behavioral issues, likely due to inbreeding. The dog has been to many trainers, and even veterinarians, who say that the bad behavior is likely due to a hormonal imbalance, but that doesn't make the dog any less hard to deal with. (Spoiler - the dog bit the wife….twice)

Now the couple is expecting a baby and the wife is making the husband choose: baby or dog. We understand how painful it can be to rehome a doggo, so on one hand, we understand the husband. On the other hand, we understand the wife, the stress of a baby coming, and the baby's safety, should take priority. A dog can always find another home, one maybe where it can run more free and be put to use in a less dangerous environment. What do you think? Is he the AH?

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  • 01
    Font - 32m and my wife is 29f. I'm not saying my wife's concerns aren't valid, because they are. I'm simply not willing to re-home my dog (3yo Heeler). My MIL gave us the dog for free back 2 1/2 years ago and the behaviors have always been there. She gets in to the cat box constantly, she gets up on our table when we aren't looking, she growls at us for redirecting her every single time, she absolutely has bitten the back of my wife's leg when my wife was vacuuming or bitten my wife's hand when
    via u/AdEastern6819

    This dog sounds like more than a problem. It bit his wife…..twice. We understand not wanting to give up a dog, but we definitely see the wife's point of view. A baby is defenseless and doesn't know any better. It's an accident waiting to happen, for sure.

  • 02
    Font - More things are the fact that she runs off/jumps out of our vehicle when we aren't looking and takes off. She has broken through many leads and harnesses, one of them being meant for a large dog (80+lbs). She had jumped out of our vehicle when we stopped at a red light the other day and took off down the street (chewed through her dog seat belt and we didn't realize it). It took us over 4 hours to get her back in the vehicle and my wife missed her doctor's appointment as a result (she's p
    via u/AdEastern6819

    She jumped out of the car at a red light???? What the heck??? This doggo is crazy! How could you ever trust her to be in the same place as a young child? The child is going to make mistakes, step on the dog, pull on the ears….it's a baby! You don't want anything to happen.

  • 03
    Font - Now the issues were brought up heavy lately because my wife said, and I quote, "I outright refuse to continue dealing with this when our baby arrives. You have 6 months to find a new trainer and correct her behaviors or the dog is gone." We have already been through trainers however and even the trainers have stated that this is likely an imbalance in chemicals, not behavioral. This was after 2 years (she was just taken from the training program 4 months ago). She can't be heavily medicat
    via u/AdEastern6819
  • 04
    Font - had been looking forward to). I told her I wasn't getting rid of the dog and she immediately started packing her stuff. She's currently with her mother and has texted me and said that she will not be coming home until the dog is gone. I think it's just hormones but my friends have stated I'm an AH because I'm essentially choosing a "annoying and aggressive" dog over my wife and unborn child.
    via u/AdEastern6819
  • 05
    Font - Nickieair 18 hr. ago Partassipant [4] YTA. What happens when your dog bites the baby?
    via u/Nickieair
  • 06
    Human body - Existing-Quantity161 17 hr. ago Exactly this. I don't know why OP can't understand this. If the dog will bite an adult, what makes him think the dog won't bite a baby, who is much smaller and can't defend itself or walk away? YTA 100%
    via u/Esixting-Quantity161
  • 07
    Font - Significant_Pea_2852 18 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [9] YTA. Normally I'm on the side of the dog but in this case, nope. Your wife's right. You can't have that dog around a baby. Your MIL is also an AH for getting a dog from a dodgy breeder and then palming it off on you. Also, how does the dog get out of the car? Are you driving with the windows down even though the dog's jumped out before? 4.3k Share
    via u/Significant_Pea_2852
  • 08
    Font - mikuzgrl 17 hr. ago Agreed. The dog needs to be rehomed.
    via u/mikuzgrl
  • 09
    Font - itl_nyc 16 hr. ago As a HUGE animal lover I agree. OP there is a pet vet group on Facebook where only vets can answer and a sister group for behaviourists. I would ask for best course of action in either of those groups. Your dog isn't safe to be around. It is not the dog's fault and I get that you love her and want what is best for her. I am not an expert, however: I would consider either rehoming her with a trainer/vet, someone who has the skills to fully handle her issues, or sadly, I
    via u/itl_nyc
  • 10
    Rectangle - sarcasm_warrior. 18 hr. ago Omg YTA. This dog has bitten your WIFE, what do you think it's going to do to a helpless infant? 2.7k Share
    via u/sarcasm_warrior
  • 11
    Font - poetic_justice987 Asshole Enthusiast [7] - 18 hr. ago This cannot be real. But on the off chance -YTA. No baby should be brought into a home with a dog that is highly reactive. The adults shouldn't have to deal with it either. 1.6k Share
    via u/poetic_justice987
  • 12
    Rectangle - Careful-Bumblebee-10 17 hr. ago Partassipant [2] This can absolutely be real. I'm a dog groomer and you would be astounded at the absolute stupidity of some dog owners who refuse to see that their dog has issues that need to be dealt with. It's infuriating.
    via u/Careful-Bumblebee-10
  • 13
    Font - daileysprague 18 hr. ago YTA. I had a very similar dog, from Kentucky, when I was pregnant. He sounds remarkably like the dog you describe, and my husband also refused to rehome him after multiple failed training programs and medication attempts. He bit our infant in the face, she has scars to this day.
    via u/daileysprague
  • 14
    Font - yuri_titov 18 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] YTA - you ARE choosing the dog over your wife. You had every opportunity to resolve the issue and it didn't work. She has a right and a good reason to be concerned about the baby's safety. YTA for dismissing her absolutely valid concerns and patronising her
    via u/uri_titov
  • 15
    Font - idontcare8587 18 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [28] YTA. Have fun hanging out with your terrible dog alone while playing child support and alimony.
    via u/idontcare8587
  • 16
    Font - GhalanSmokescale 18 hr. ago YTA, for several reasons. First, as stated several times, you'll endanger your kid. Hell, your currently potentially endangering your unborn child, because the mother is constantly in a high stress environment with an unruly dog. Second, you're not doing right by that dog by keeping it. You're stressing it, as is clear by it constantly trying to escape and biting you. And you're really doing anything helpful about it. The dog knows that your wife doesn't like i
    via u/GhalanSmokescale
  • 17
    Font - Filoster 18 hr. ago Partassipant [1] YTA. Better to rehome now than be forced to put the dog down when it bites your newborn. Irresponsible dog owners give all dog owners a bad name.
    via u/Filoster
  • 18
    Font - greatwhiteslark - 18 hr. ago Partassipant [2] YTA. You're choosing a dog over your wife and child. We have two dogs, a cat, and a four year old. When our daughter was a newborn, we had a dog that became aggressive when anyone tried to tend to her when she cried. We tried training and that wasn't working, so we had to re-home that hound. It sucked, but it was the right thing to do.
    via u/greatwhiteslark
  • 19
    Font - AliceInWeirdoland Certified Proctologist [26] 17 hr. ago It also can be for the good of the dog. My cousin was sadly in a position where his dog got aggressive once his daughter started walking. The dog was a rescue from a tough situation, and it was unfair to him to have to live in a home where he was constantly stressed and anxious about the baby, too. Getting him to a lower stress environment was obviously necessary for his daughter's safety, but it also was better for the dog, too.
    via u/AliceInWeirdoland
  • 20
    Font - Tired Momma14. 18 hr. ago YTA You are a bad dog owner, a bad partner, and a bad father. You have an ill- tempered, untrained, aggressive dog that has bitten your partner 2x and you think it won't attack a helpless newborn. An aggressive dog should never be in a home with a child. Most likely the baby's crying will set your dog off and he will attack. Then you'll have animal control, DCFS, and possibly the police in your home. Your home, with that dog, is not a safe place for a baby. You w
    via u/Tired_Momma14
  • 21
    Font - Keenzur 18 hr. ago edited 17 hr. ago Partassipant [1] YTA • This dog has already bitten your wife twice. What happens when she bites the baby? You tried trainers, and it didn't work. I don't blame your wife one bit for leaving. A dog like that does not belong around children. She attacks the baby, and she's most likely going to get put down. You aren't doing her any favors by keeping her. You're choosing a dog over your wife and unborn child's safety. Let that sink in.
    via u/Keenzur
  • 22
    Font - mamadubechef 18 hr. ago Partassipant [2] Oh dear Lord YTA like can not stress enough. I am a super animal person love them don't like rehoming but she's not telling you to put the dog down but to find a more suitable home. It's a heeler mix try to find a farmer to take him. The dog has aggressive behavior because of hormone imbalance this is in no way the dogs fault but it can Kill your child this can seriously hurt your child and this dog takes off all the time from leads or your car it
    via u/mamadubechef

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crazy scary dogs aita baby pets debate wife problem husband doggos choices doggo pet pregnant Reddit animals karen
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